1

cup water

1

cup of brown sugar

1

tsp baking soda

1

cup of sugar

1

tsp salt

Lemon Juice

4

large eggs

Nuts

1

bottle of Vodka

1

can of Red Bull

2

cups dried fruit

1.

Sample the vodka to check the quality.

2.

Take a large bowl, check the vodka again.

3.

To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and mix with a little red bull and drink.

4.

Repeat.

5.

Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

6.

Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.

7.

At this point its is best to make sure the vodka is still ok.

8.

Flavour with red bull to taste.

9.

Try another cup - just in case turn off the mixerer.

10.

Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

11.

Pick fruit off floor

12.

Mix on the turner.

13.

If the dried fruit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.

14.

Shample the vodka to check for tonsisticitity, flavour with a little Bed Rull.

15.

Next ssiffft two cups of salt. Or something … Who giveshz a shi**

16.

Throw a pinch of Bed Rull over your shoulder

17.

Pick up the can, mop the floor

18.

Check the vodka

19.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

20.

Add one table.

21.

Add a shpoon of shugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

22.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over..

23.

Don't forget to beat off the turner

24.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka and kick the dog.

25.

Fall into bed.